Whenever I listen to hide's music, I am always overcome with a tumultuous feeling of carefree happiness mixed with a feeling of sadness and loss -- especially when I watch videos of him in concert or giving an interview. I just think of how much happiness, energy, charisma and drive was there; then I can get a little depressive over it, knowing all of that's gone. I try to remember hide on a happy note, but it's hard sometimes.


The brightest stars always extinguish the fastest as they say, and in the case of rock stars, it's usually a result of them doing it to themselves (either with drugs, alcohol or something similar). hide was a radical to me, an energy, which is why it depresses me most that he had to die before his time and in such a "stereotypical rock star" fashion. The music world really needed hide and with him gone, it just seems a-lot more of an empty place to me. There are many bands/artists I appreciate and love of course, but none of them can really compare.


On the surface, hide could be androgynous with child-like simplicity one moment, yet oozing with sexual innuendo in the next. What drew me to him in the beginning, was that general fun and carefree attitude of him and his band. hide's lyrics, too, are extremely heart-felt and truthful; sometimes entirely macabre. But hide also had a-lot of fun with Spread Beaver too, and you can tell they both enjoyed their careers and promoting them to the fullest degree while having a hell of a fun time doing so. Time and time again, hide would go way over the top visually, musically and artistically. hide genuinely loved X-Japan, his LEMONed bands and most of all, his fans.


hide was just as open with his sadness as he was with his happiness, generocity, compassion and other attributes. I think in that way, hide and Spread Beaver were very youthful just as they were very real. Such outspoken honesty and actions from all sides are something few bands or artists in this day of whiney image-appeal in music have.


As I write this, I can only wonder: if good things lasted forever, would we ever be able to truly appreciate just how precious they are?


Thank you, hide. For all you have given me, your fans, and the world.