You know when you are exhausted, but then u begin to do something else and all of a sudden ur exhaustion or at least need for sleep leaves you? I try to avoid my mom when i am at home, so today when i got back from buying fireworks my mom began interrogating me in her insistant motherly way and i decided i had to leave. Seeing as i cnt drive i decided to take a nice bike ride...which turned into a 2 hour ride. But at least by the time i got back my mom was asleep. I felt like i was going to collapse and i threw myself into bed. But then my fucking friend jackie comes over and asks to borrow some videos and then we start to talk and then i get all hyper again out of no where and then my fucking great friend leaves my lonely hyper ass and im left with nothing to do and no one to talk to at midnite. So my old friends from OVS have been badgering me into getting a myspace, which i guess is equivalent to hi5, but it seems to be used more by americans...or at least my old school. And by the way, My Space is way fucking better than hi5 so i say we start a revolution to switch from Hi5 to My Space. Who's with me?!?!?! No one? ok I dnt blame you... So anyways, i start to look at everyones pictures and start reading everyone profiles and journals...people i havnt seen in way too long. It was like getting a little window into their world and i couldnt stop visiting everyones sites. To be honest, i guess i am slightly OCD or at least obsessive, because i spent 4 fucking hours going from site to site, looking at pics, messages, blogs everything. And to be frank...i came away feeling really dejected. All the people i loved are either continuing their blissfull lives or have fallen into a dark hole. And it fucking sucks...because either way i cant help them or talk to them. Its like i finally saw what was going on but i was still stuck behind the glass. I finally forced myself to stop devouring all of my friends My Space sites and study for my driving exam. I think subconciossly that is what kept me up. I have failed it 4 fucking time and tomorrow is basically my last chance to pass it. Of course, i will be able to retake it as many times as i wish but there are only so many times i can fail a fucking PA driving test and not be completely ashamed with myself. So it is 439am right now, im going to wait unto it gets light out, at about 530am and go for a run. Shower, study some more, take the test...most likely fail and then go to Jackies beach house. We went to kindergarden together and she graduated highschool this year. She rented her very own shore house down in NJ and me and her friend becky are all driving up today. Usually there would be alot of people staying there, but the live AIDS concert is in Philly on saturday so basically everyone on the East Coast will be there. I personelly wanted to go, but with all the tourists i dnt think i could even make it in to Philly. So i guess i am looking forward to a nice weekend at the shore...although im not excited about getting in a bathing suite or being surrounded by drunk ghetto assholes. But whatever....anything is better than nothing.
So i have basically just rambled on for, id say 10 minutes straight, because i have nothign better to do. And if you actually read through this entire journal u r either as sad as i am or have a strange and secretive interest in me. But if you r like me then you just read the begining, realized you could not be botherd to finish it, and then skipped to the end. Ya thats right you did that didnt you?? Well, i would advise you to read the whole thing because i go into great detail about the erotic threesome i had last saturday nite...