Have you ever loved someone pass the point of makeing sense? Knowing that there will be no futur in them, you still try... hopeing... praying. Dispite the distance in heart and mind, you close your eyes every now and again, pushing the poison of pain from your mind and smile. "It was good", you tell yourself, knowing that it really wasn't. Keeping the bitter behind you, you still wish them the best in all they do. You remind yourself of how every wonderful moment was, but in that light, you cant help but to see that spot of a dark focal point behind it all, fadeing outward to light which is where you stand.
   You truely believe that things could have been wonderful, perfect... now that it's over. But in the final days, there was nothing to hold on to.

My travels lead where roads may end
    and yet, I move so swift and sure,
    I'm packing little to survive
   because I know I can endure;
Each step I make gets farther still
   and yet, my faith still carries me,
   My promises stand full and strong
   and so, I travel still, unfree;
Each day that passes I do walk
   and keep my head up through my trial,
   with expectations in my soul
   and tiny laughters of a child;
The sun, it beats relentlessly
   and sweat profusely falls my brow,
   But still my strength carries me on
   for futures sake, not here and now;
So much time has passed since then
   I'm numb, my beating heart is chilled,
   Lost track of where I set to go
   is empty now, from once was filled;
And still I walk to see the end
   if not for future, then for me,
   But still, that laughter of that child
   just doesn't want to let me be;
I cant forget, but I cant hope
   and I cant force my life like this,
   I cant believe I've walked this far
   and still, it's so hard to forget;
I turn my head, and hope to see
   some kind of end from where I've come,
   I realize I just dont care
   fatigued and quite comfortably numb;
After I walk a long way still
   a sign glows dim around the bend,
   I drop my bags and sight unreal
   and gasp and read aloud, "Dead End".
So even though I've lost myself
   and put aside what's worked for me,
   I realized the flaws I've made
   mistakes like how I shouldn't be...xxx

   Never change who you are to fit into anothers life. If that person was for you, then neither of you should have to change your ways. Yea, there's give and take in every relationship, but if you're giving too much of yourself, be prepaired to hit that "Dead End" at the end of however long you've traveled to make things work. Not everyone is for you, no matter how sure you convince yourself to be. Hope is good, faith is even better, but without a contious mind, hope and faith becomes foolish things. I will always continue to love her, and especially her daughter, but hay, as sure as I was, it just wasn't meant to be. Wise up world. There's a first time for everything, make sure you learn from it. Make sure it's the last. Time to grow up. Life's too short. Fortunately I've grown a little. I'm sure of what I want or even need now. See what you see, hear what you hear, and understand what is to be learned. Never convince yourself of anything. Peace and love to you all. I've finally found it in myself.